Friday, March 4, 2011


Woohoo!  We won! Our team won the game last night 14 to 1. Yes!  I love a good walloping.

Different people like different things in terms of sports wins.  I like my team to win, but good. The bigger the point difference, the happier I am. My dad likes a close game.  He thinks it's more entertaining when it's more of a competition.  Bart is somewhere in the middle.

I was giddy over our win in the car on the way home last night. Bart had fun, but he wasn't giddy.  Well, it's safe to say Bart is never really giddy.  I think they remove that brain function when you become an engineer.  I don't know any giddy engineers.

I was saying how much I love a big win when I realized how I sounded.  I had fallen off the wagon. I was in the mode.  I was falling subject to my true nature.  I am a fierce competitor.

I'm definitely in need of a Competitiveness 12-Step Program.  I am so competitive it's scary.  Anyone reading this, who actually knows me, is thinking, "Oh yeah.  Tell me something I don't know about you."

My mother loves to tell the story of when I was in 3 year old kindergarten and was asked to be in my school pageant.  She wasn't sure about it at all.  I was an attractive child by all reports, but my mother is not a pageant believer.  So, she thought about it.

Finally, she asked me what I would do if I didn't win.  I responded, "I'd kick the winner."  That folks, was the end of my pageant career before it started.  Apparently, I was just born this way.  Kick the winner.  What kind of 3 year old says that?  Me.  Oops!

In my adult life, after seeing how unattractively ruthless I could be in competition, I've opted out. I do not participate in any sort of contest. I don't compete in horse shows. I don't rodeo.  I don't barrel race.  Nope, no horse competition. I don't compete in other sports, either.

I gave up racketball in college because I damn near killed the man who is now my ex-husband on the court.  He hit a bad serve and it made me mad.  I purposefully lobed that ball back at him so hard it probably left a mark.

Maybe I knew subconsciously how the relationship would turn out?  People who know my ex are thinking, "Well, he deserved it."  Seventeen years before the divorce? Come on, friends.  I appreciate the support, but let's be truthful.  I am not my best self when allowed to compete.  So, I don't.  I abstain.

But, every now and then, the competitor in me jumps out.  In matters of intellect, it probably comes out more than every now and then. I don't let it get ugly.  I don't think.  At least, I hope not!

It's probably why I was successful in politics.  I could observe and listen and wait and bide my time and win.   I was going to win. And, I did.  I think my committee passed more than a dozen bills my first year as committee director.  Oops!  There I go again!

I will say, there is some positive value in competitiveness.  It pushes you to be your best.  It makes you try harder.  Even if you don't win, you pushed yourself to do your best.  What's wrong with that?  Am I falling off the wagon again?  Maybe I should stop now?

Ok, go have a good day.  You've had your laugh on me.  Don't gloat.  You don't want my inner 3 year old getting loose, do you? My "inner child" may start kicking butt and taking names! No wonder I ended-up a cowgirl!  Big smile!  Thanks for reading!

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