Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Follow-up to Strange Bedfellows

Good Wednesday morning, folks.  This is a short one.  I've got a super busy day today.

Remember Monday's post "Strange Bedfellows"?  Well, this is a follow-up to that story.  It is also not G-rated.  It's not bad, but don't read it aloud to your kids, ok?  Don't tell your mother to read it either!  Elaine!!!!

Long time ago, I told Elaine I'd seen the movie "Two Moon Junction."  I said it was really interesting.  I said it was quite the sexy movie.  Told her she should rent it some time.  I did not mean when her mother came to visit!

A few weeks later, she called me all upset.  Her mother had been in town.  They went to the video store.  She saw "Two Moon Junction" on the shelf.  She told her mother I said it was a good movie.  Thanks, Elaine!  I know her mother.

They rented it and took it home to watch.  Once it got racy, did Elaine turn it off?  No.  She let her poor mother be mortified and blamed it on me.  Thanks again, Elaine!

So, now you're all warned.  Don't refer the faint of heart to these two posts.  All the rest? Fine. Not these two.  Ok?

As a "thank you" for loaning me his vacation home, I told Harry I'd take him out to lunch and buy him a bottle of good liquor.  Harry has a massive bar for someone who doesn't drink during the week.  Or, when he's home alone.  Or, when he's in a bad mood.  Or, when he's on a diet.

For a man with that much alcohol on hand, he really doesn't drink much.  But, he enjoys his collection.  He's always looking for something a little different.  I was about to accommodate him!

I was running errands last week when I  thought I'd go by the liquor store and take care of my promise.  I called Harry while I was in the car en route.  I asked him if he wanted anything in particular.

He said, "Vodka.  Get me something cute."

Yes, these were his exact words.  Something "cute."  Ok, then, Harry.  I'll see what I can do.

I went to the vodka section looking for something "cute."  I was not disappointed.  As soon as I was in the section, I saw it.  It was a lovely blue bottle that said, "Whipped."  What?!  It is whipped cream flavored vodka.

I could not resist.  Harry has a down on her luck, depressed, former professional dominatrix living with him on a just friends with no benefits basis, remember?  How could I not give him "Whipped" vodka?!  He said "cute."

So, my smart little self took it up to the counter and bought it.  Grin already on my face!  Ha ha!  This was going to be a good laugh over lunch one day soon!

It will definitely be the only time Harry ever gets "whipped!"  The man is the size of an NFL linebacker.  He has a concealed weapon permit.  His house is as well armed as any military base.  Harry ain't into getting "whipped" by his depressed dominatrix friend, trust me.  Nope, you want to "whip" Harry?  You better bring the Green Berets with you, buddy.  Harry hits back...with bullets.

Besides, Harry prides himself on his chocolate martinis.  He can try adding a little "Whipped" whip cream vodka to them!  There's a practical application.  I didn't waste my money or the laugh I'm going to get.

I'm really looking forward to having lunch with Harry now!

Hope you got a giggle this fine Wednesday morning!  Thanks for reading.  Have a nice day!

No comments:

Post a Comment